It’s been a few weeks since my blog post. I’ve been pretty busy, and my mental health has taken a hit. But I can’t wait anymore. I need to get something off my chest.
I am tired of watching women online decide who has earned the right to call herself a mother.
Someone shares her birth story and the comments start. “But did you give birth naturally?” Eew.
Someone mentions formula and people who know nothing about her life demand an explanation for why she isn’t breastfeeding. Gross.
The worst I’ve seen is when someone says that having a c-section isn’t giving birth.
Y’all. Y’all. Come on.
There is no admission test for motherhood.
You do not have to have a vaginal birth to prove yourself. You do not have to labor without pain relief to earn respect. You do not have to breastfeed to demonstrate how much you love your baby. There is no required amount of pain you have to feel before you can belong in the mom club.
And you should not have to share your medical history, your mental health struggles, or the hardest parts of your life to defend yourself.
“As long as you had a good reason” is STILL GATEKEEPING!
The C-section doesn’t have to be medically necessary. You don’t have to “give breastfeeding a try” before deciding to formula feed. We don’t need a comment section to validate us as mothers.
Your pride does not mean someone else’s shame.
So you had a completely pain relief free, vaginal birth? I’m proud of you! You can absolutely be proud of that. But do not use it as a measuring stick for someone else’s birth. And if you had the opposite circumstance, I’m proud of you! You can absolutely be proud of yourself, too!
And headliner: a person who has lost a baby is still a parent, too! They didn’t love their baby any less. I can’t stand anyone saying that a person who has gone through pregnancy loss isn’t a parent.
If you have been made to feel like less of a mother because of how you gave birth, whether you used pain relief, how you fed your baby, or because you suffered a loss, I want to say this clearly:
